The pursuit and keeping of romantic love is a primary concern for most people at different times in their lives. As a clairvoyant here at MySpiritCare, and having consulted with many thousands of clients, it’s very clear to me that often the problems in romantic relationships aren’t about finding love, but in our understanding–and lack of understanding–about what love really is.
We are almost never taught the truth about romantic love because most of the people who set the stage for our lives didn’t understand it either. In this culture, understanding love is a trial-and-error, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants experience. As much as we don’t want a failed romance, bad relationships are the way most people get their lessons about love. They find out what doesn’t work before they can figure out what does.
It’s a fact that from the moment of birth, we begin looking for love. As adults, we think that romantic love is equivalent to security, safety and to have our needs met because we began our earth lives processing love in that way. As infants, we experienced “love” as being the center of someone’s devoted attention. To get attention as babies, we had to vie for it or manipulate others (cry) to meet our needs and as adults, many people continue this pattern.
It’s a fact that when childhood experiences do not meet our need to feel unconditionally loved and nurtured, adults may seek love relationships to meet the deeply buried needs of their childhood. Surprisingly, many grownups—in one way or another—have not matured beyond this early, infantile perception of love and still seek love as an antidote to their feelings of insecurity. The fear that prompts insecurity is always a detriment to good loving relationships and causes many relationships to go lifeless or fail.
We Get So Mixed Up About Love
For sure, the romantic ideas that many women entertain (as portrayed in romance novels, for instance) are pure fantasy. These are responsible for untold frustration, heartache and immense suffering on an inter-generational scale. Romantic myths perpetuated in books and movies are profitable delusions, making fortunes for writers and entertainers. Meanwhile, they misguide women who have no experience with knowing the very different male mind and likewise, they do nothing to teach to men the truth about a woman’s soul. And it’s not just the media that makes love fantasies. Our very culture fills people with false assumptions about love. This is the foremost contributor to why a huge percentage of relationships don’t work out or don’t last.
Misperceptions aside, the fact is that normal human personalities change over time. Partners that were once compatible, based on personalities, often grow apart when deep inner changes occur. This is why partnerships locked onto early in life, before maturity is somewhat ripened, often end.
While many mature women are frustrated at not having found a love well into their forties, they should take comfort in the fact that the most rewarding relationships are often cemented later in life, when maturity is more likely to have developed. People are often in a great hurry to find love, stating they have waited too long already, but romantic love is not a product we can acquire from the world’s inventory of potential partners. We can’t wander into a store and get a lover off the shelf, yet many people act as if it’s that easy!
So what’s the real truth we all need to know about falling in love?
Love is a living force of life, and like all natural and living things, it has its own perfect timing to take root in our lives. It can never be coerced, bargained, bought, chained, or schemed. It is not domesticated and it cannot be tamed, managed or controlled. It does not exist to cater to you. The moment you cage it or take ownership over it, it will die.
The majority of people view romantic love as if it were an object…something they own. They expect it to be dependable, predictable, unchangeable, and that as an object, love is designed to meet their needs on demand. They aren’t aware that romantic love is a changing dynamic, a constantly moving energy force between two lovers, and that it can only be as “perfect” as we are.
Love’s Big Counterfeit: Sex and Romance
The biggest fantasy is that romantic attraction, or sexual 
chemistry, is love. It is not. Women often make the mistake of believing that if they have a sexual relationship with a man, he will fall in love. This is simply not the case. This assumption by women is influenced by a their emotional response to sexual intimacy, but men are very different. Sex and love are not equal, and if you are a woman, you should know that giving a man sex will not make him love you.
So to put it another way, being desired and being loved are often considered to be the same, but they most certainly are not. Likewise, romance-the heady beginnings of chemistry in action-is not the same thing as love. Young people in our society should be taught this: while romance is plentiful, true love is rare.
You Think You’re Ready for Love, But Are You?
You are most ready for true love when the idea of having it does not possess your mind. When you can understand that just because the right match has not yet come along, there is nothing inherently wrong with you and it does not mean you are unloved or unlovable. Whether you know it or not, you are loved by life and the Source of Life that gave rise to you. When you can understand that you are worthy of love, you will be in a position to enjoy a healthy relationship. When you have a healthy, balanced, accepting attitude about yourself and a trust in where your own life path is in this moment, this clears the way for wonderful events to occur.
As a living force of dynamic energy, love is not an object that falls from the sky onto other lucky people. So, if you want to know if you will have true love in your life, the question you have to answer is this: Do you know what that means?
Can you honestly say that you understand love? Are you willing to take the path necessary to choose a partner who knows how to love—or are you impatient, thinking you can make someone love you who does not have the capacity for love or who does not want it from you?
These are tough questions, and many who seek a love partner are uncomfortable with an honest examination of their own motives. Unless one is willing to “get real” about finding love, complications with relationships are sure to happen.
Despite the complications we create in relationships, human beings long for love. We do so because it is our very essence: there is a Divine Presence at the very core of all of us and this is love itself. An understanding of one’s essential identity is critical to finding a good romantic match, since people normally seek out partners they believe is a match to their superficial personalities. It is the connection between deeper Soul identities where true love is possible. As you understand the realities of love, you ready yourself to have its wondrous experience.
Love = Growth of Your Soul
For those of you who are ready to evolve into the greatest of all human experiences, romantic soul love, Kahlil Gibran has written incredible words that tell you everything you need to know:
“When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. …For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning….But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor…where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.”
Kahlil Gibran, “The Prophet”
Your love relationship will mirror who you are and your stage of development in life and it is always about spiritual lessons. If you will begin to move past the superficial definitions of love and think deeply about its real meaning, you will take that first step to experiencing a fulfilling relationship that will last… and raise both your Souls up, and up, beyond the stars, into an endless forever of bliss.
When you need help with romantic problems, need insight by having a clairvoyant psychic reading or need coaching about a relationship, you can get a reading from me. You may also read “Psychic Clairvoyant Eye: Is This Romance True Love?”